I couldn’t arrange them from the most important to the least, so there in the order I wrote them out.
1. Chat up lines.
Regardless of what I say – girls be prepared to come across at least one chat up line in your life.
This is how it will almost always go. You’ll be in a club or bar with your girls and all of a sudden this douche bag comes over to you. The guy is guaranteed to have had a few before approaching you (Dutch courage). He will then stand too close to you – enough to make you feel uncomfortable before starting the casual chit chat. That’s just the warm up. Out of nowhere he will pull the horny face before using the chat up line. You all know what I’m talking about – the look that makes him look like a desperate arrogant twat.
I will react in two ways; laugh to avoid awkwardness or simply be awkward depending on how much I’ve had to drink.
Honestly guys you’d be better off trying to pull a ‘loose girl’ because most girls won’t give you the time of the day.
As much as I cringe listening to chat up lines, my personal favourite is:
Guy: can I use your phone?
Guy: I told my mum I would call her when I fall in love
Me: *eruption of laughter, smile and walk away*
The moral of this is to just don’t use them.
2. Bad personal hygiene.
I will keep this short but sweet. If you don’t shower, or more importantly brush your teeth then you will never progress further than the friend zone with any girl. I feel for the girl who has to kiss a mouth with un-brushed teeth, it must feel great to be diving into all the plaque and left over food. Yummy.
3. Mind games.
You all do this, even if you don’t realise it. It gets a big thumb down from me. Women are arguably more in control of their feelings, and we have the ability to express ourselves quite well. However guys are more indecisive everything is ‘complicated’ when it comes to emotions. This doesn’t apply to all guys, but a lot think its ok to change their minds whenever it suits them. Emotions aren’t something to be playing with – screw us over once and we won’t let you forget it. If you like us then tell us but if you don’t then let us down gently. This isn’t like the Sims where you can create your own story and start over again – its real life.
4. He’s more into football than he’s into you.
I’ve grown to love football over the course of year so I know why most guys love the sport. However if you constantly talk about football it will turn us off. It’s ok to talk about football occasionally but try and keep the conversations about mutual interests. When the big football events come around men cease to exist – unless you’re their favourite footballer you may as well not speak.
5. Tight with money.
I know your money is your own – but tightness just annoys me. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship we have it’s just a bad trait to have. We all know someone who is tight – you ask them for some money (which you’ll pay back) and they just say they haven’t got money, when you know for a fact they do.
6. Cancelling plans.
The amount of times this has happened to me – I hate it. The only excuse you can get away with is being on your death bed. If you’re going to cancel do it in the morning or at least 4 hours in advanced because it still gives me time to plan something else. It just shows such a lack of interest when you text me or ring me before I’m about to leave.
7. No goals or ambitions.
Didn’t you hear were living in times of crisis? Girls love a man who knows what he wants – it shows organisation and shows progress for a future. You don’t need to be 100% certain about what you want in life, but a guy who shows some sort of plan is more attractive than someone who has no clue.
8. Lack of respect for women.
If I ever hear you refer to me or any other female as ‘birds’ just forget you know me. Somehow in your head when you look at the opposite sex you see people with wings? Last time I checked I didn’t have wings so don’t refer to us as animals. I also can’t stand guys that have no idea they live in the 21st century. News flash – women are equals. Tell me to go to the kitchen, and I’ll come out with a pan to smack you with.
9. Bad manners.
I know we live in a world where we wouldn’t function without our phones – but surely if were out you don’t need to be on it 24/7. I see this all the time, couples that are eating but aren’t actually talking to each other because one or the other is on their phone. Another thing I dislike is that a lot of guys don’t hold the door open – even if you’re in a rush you can spare a second. Manners are what show the difference between boys and men.
Nobody wants to introduce their parents to the ill-mannered boyfriend.
10. Flirting with every vagina in sight.
If were together, I don’t understand the compulsive reaction guys have to gawk at other girls right in front of our faces. Would you like it if we drooled over every hot guy we saw? You’re bound to find girls attractive but you need to understand that there is a huge difference between thinking it and acting it. Sometimes all it takes is one comment to knock our confidence and it hurts more if the one comment comes from the guy we like.
Guys don’t like to feel emasculated and girls hate feeling like second best.
If you’re are a guy that does any of the above
Shame on you! It’s time to change your ways.