Is your relationship in the gutter?

I’m not a relationship expert –far from it. But I do know the fundamentals of making any relationship work and fail.   I could write a list of 50 but it would be too generic. I’m going to write the three reasons that most interest me and really are reasons to believe your relationship is in turmoil.

Have they introduced you to their circle of friends?

If the answer is no then the first thing to consider is the amount of time you’ve been together. If it’s only been about six months to a year I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s still early territory.

If the answer is no and it’s been way over a year or more, then take a step back and ask yourself if it’s really going anywhere.  (P.S if you haven’t introduced them to your circle of friends, then no point being a hypocrite and skip to my next point.)

I think once you’re in a relationship, you can easily forget that your friends exist. But let’s face it bros before hoes, so why hasn’t he/she introduced you yet?  My guess is there probably not sure if you’re good enough to meet his friends. I personally wouldn’t introduce my boyfriend to my friends If I didn’t see it going anywhere.

Even if you’re not bothered about meeting their friends, personally it should be the thought that they want to show you off. If it’s been over two years, then run for hills and never look back!! Just joking, but really evaluate the way the little things they do affect your self-worth.

 

 Do they put others first?

Not sure what I mean? I’ll give you a hypothetical example (or is it?)

So imagine you’re in a happy relationship with your boyfriend, life is dandy but his brother’s girlfriend likes to flirt with your boyfriend and he does nothing.

Now let’s imagine you’ve told him time after time that it’s bothering you but yet it doesn’t continue to stop, so there both making you look like a tool.

Now does that sound even remotely similar to a situation with you? And is that someone you really want to be with? I’ll let you decide that.

 

Do they support your ambitions?

There is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn’t support your goals. Luckily I’ve never been with a guy like that, but many of my friends have.

Did they remember that you had an interview, the same interview you mentioned 20 times that week? Do they keep an interest with work and how everything’s going and more importantly do they push you to be the best version of you that you can be?

If it’s not a yes then maybe you should strive to find someone more ambition orientated. It’s not essential but if you’re both driven then you can motivate each other. Supporting each other through the highs and lows is what relationships are about and if you feel alone then is it worth staying with them if your’e miserable.

 Like I said earlier there are plenty more like trust etc.. but just saying trust is a little generic. I would be really interested to read what ones you would include on my list.

Until next time

Natalie x

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One thought on “Is your relationship in the gutter?

  1. Kanuka Simpson says:

    I was with my wife for 2 years before I really let her into my heart. I know it may sound harsh, but I have moved so often and had so many relationships that I had learned that letting people into my heart too soon only led to pain. I remember the day I was sorting boxes of old stuff and put all our photos into the same album. I knew I would not be interested in sorting these photos out again later should we split. I knew there would not be a split. For me it felt like that was the sign that I was creating a family. I moved from looking upstream, from being the son of my parents, looking for a partner, to looking downstream – to being the parents of my future children and grandchildren. The father or grandfather I now look up to. Our families were from that moment indelibly intertwined. Now, 8 years and 4 children later, our relationship is still going strong!

    I also feel that keeping a relationship going is a choice. Often I look at my wife and think how beautiful she looks. I relish those moments, choosing to skip over the times (and they exist too), where I wonder what the hell I am doing here. By concentrating on the times I feel connected, they become stronger. By accepting the times I feel distant, but not giving them any worth (by knowing they will constantly come and go), they become weaker.

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